Divorce is extremely difficult on a person emotionally and physically. This is especially true for children. It is very important that they have the proper help and support during this difficult time. They need to know and understand that the divorce is not their fault and that both parents still love them very much.

How you can help:

1. Both parents must work hard at putting aside their anger and hard feelings toward each other when it comes to the kids. If possible, you should sit down and make child care arrangements that will be suitable for both of you and more importantly the children. This is much easier and less painful than having to go into court and have them decide for you.

2. You have to be able to pull together to help the children through this hard time. Redefine your relationship with your former spouse. Instead of seeing yourselves as former spouses rather see yourselves as joint custodians working together for what’s best for your kids. Create as much stability as you can for your kids. If one parent decides to go against their commitment to help their kids in a responsible way, you should take the higher ground and help and support them as best you can.

3. You should not keep the divorce a secret from the children. You need to tell them what’s going on and what to expect. Try to give them at least a little bit of notice before one parent moves out so that the child can have the time to deal with it and ask questions. Reassure the child that both parents still love them and are going to be there for them and that nothing has changed in that sense.

4. Do not put blame on anyone when you are talking to your children. Do not put down the other parent in any way. It is important that the children know that they still have two dependable and trustworthy parents to take care of them.

5. Make your child aware that they are not going to be able to get the both of you back together. Tell them that there is nothing that they can do to make the situation go away.

6. Explain to your kids where they are going to live and that they can see the other parent any time they want to. You can tell them that there may be some changes in that later on, but it is not going to affect their relationship. Let them ask any questions that they may have for you both.

7. Giving the child the right information and not too much information is important, you do not want them to feel anxious or worry about anything that is not their concern. They have to feel comfortable with the news that you told them and give them some time to adjust to the idea.

Divorce is an extremely painful time for everyone especially when it comes to children and child custody. Know your rights! Visit www.divorceandchildcustody.info for more information from two top child custody experts on how to make your best case for the custody of your children. Visit today and receive a free copy of the 2009 Child Custody Checklist which will help you prepare for your child custody trial.

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Filed under: Child Custody

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